Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
