somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
