Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
