If i come over, it means nothing
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
