i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
