Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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