No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
