Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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