It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
smell my finger.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
