I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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