But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
