I don't remember. Are we still dating?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
