Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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