kristin has been a bad kristin
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize