I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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