I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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