a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
