Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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