Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
