I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
what day is it and did you see me today?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
