He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So much rum. So many feels.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
