I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
