I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
