I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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