I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My pussy is not your playground.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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