Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
