I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
