piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
