Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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