Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
