They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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