she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
