got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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