Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just pynch a tree in the face
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
