just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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