While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
