Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize