If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I want her autograph on my taint
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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