What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
