hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
