the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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