Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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