You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
