Sponge bath it is.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Randomize
