I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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