Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
