when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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