his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
