Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
