she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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