Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Randomize
