you guys were way drunker than both of me
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
