So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
