you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
