There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Hippo gnu deer
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I touched a dick in church today
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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