You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
