we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
