I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
