White coat. Heels.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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